Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

115 notes

They should make a Christmas song regarding a child’s inquiry into who brings Santa Claus presents.
Why his parents, of course!
Then the song physically describes these parents.  They are thin, near-mummified beings that slink into the house by using their tongues to widen the cracks in the doors and windows. Perhaps it’s a bit too graphic and downright morbid a description of how advanced aging can ravage a body, but hey!  You’re the one that asked!  

They should make a Christmas song regarding a child’s inquiry into who brings Santa Claus presents.

Why his parents, of course!

Then the song physically describes these parents.  They are thin, near-mummified beings that slink into the house by using their tongues to widen the cracks in the doors and windows. Perhaps it’s a bit too graphic and downright morbid a description of how advanced aging can ravage a body, but hey!  You’re the one that asked!  

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