Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

125 notes

Well, here’s a good business.  You walk around in the middle of the night checking doors.  If a door is unlocked, you go inside the new “client’s” house and walk up to where they are sleeping. Gently shake them awake. “Excuse me.  Hey…excuse me..your door is unlocked.” “AHHHHH!” “AHHHHH!” Then at the same time with the same shaky hand motions: “AHHHHH!”

Well, here’s a good business.  You walk around in the middle of the night checking doors.  If a door is unlocked, you go inside the new “client’s” house and walk up to where they are sleeping.

Gently shake them awake.

“Excuse me.  Hey…excuse me..your door is unlocked.”

“AHHHHH!”

“AHHHHH!”

Then at the same time with the same shaky hand motions: “AHHHHH!”

  1. 50fuckingtimes reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    Ever since I’ve read this, I’ve thought about it...couple times every day
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