Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

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The magic trick starts when the magician brings his car to a halt at a stoplight.  He glances ahead to a coffee shop where, through the window, an attractive young woman can be seen reading a book.
Through the magician’s eyes we watch and his vision slowly zooms in on the woman, closer and closer until the next shot, where he’s standing inside the coffee shop, right next to her. 
With both hands gripping a steering wheel and a seatbelt draped loosely over his shoulder, the magician is like, “Ta da!”
The woman is startled and she jumps. 
But the magician expected this and so he does a great job helping the woman understand that what she’s witnessing is more than just a guy who wandered up with a detached steering wheel in his hand.  He explains the car and the whole “zooming in” thing and really, it’s his description that is the real magic.
“He’s lying,” says a wrinkly old lady.  “I saw him walk in.”
A witch!  Or a masked opponent?
The magician dives and tackles the naysayer to the ground.  He tries to unmask her, but the advanced age of the old lady makes it hard for the magician to differentiate between the edge of a mask and folds of loose neck-skin.  In fact, he’s still tugging away on her face when the police arrive.
The magician’s car is never found.  As for that steering wheel - well, the junk yard manager has a junk yard to run and if we think he’s going to go car to car looking to see which one seems to be missing a fucking steering wheel, then we’re crazy.

The magic trick starts when the magician brings his car to a halt at a stoplight.  He glances ahead to a coffee shop where, through the window, an attractive young woman can be seen reading a book.

Through the magician’s eyes we watch and his vision slowly zooms in on the woman, closer and closer until the next shot, where he’s standing inside the coffee shop, right next to her. 

With both hands gripping a steering wheel and a seatbelt draped loosely over his shoulder, the magician is like, “Ta da!”

The woman is startled and she jumps. 

But the magician expected this and so he does a great job helping the woman understand that what she’s witnessing is more than just a guy who wandered up with a detached steering wheel in his hand.  He explains the car and the whole “zooming in” thing and really, it’s his description that is the real magic.

“He’s lying,” says a wrinkly old lady.  “I saw him walk in.”

A witch!  Or a masked opponent?

The magician dives and tackles the naysayer to the ground.  He tries to unmask her, but the advanced age of the old lady makes it hard for the magician to differentiate between the edge of a mask and folds of loose neck-skin.  In fact, he’s still tugging away on her face when the police arrive.

The magician’s car is never found.  As for that steering wheel - well, the junk yard manager has a junk yard to run and if we think he’s going to go car to car looking to see which one seems to be missing a fucking steering wheel, then we’re crazy.

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