Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

31 notes

Steven Seagull: We need to find clues BMX.  Because that is how we can investigate the criminal.  This whole thing can’t be about kicking, punching and grappling.  It also has to be about typing out some computer research and then printing that research on a piece of paper so we can show it to the police chief.
(Steven Seagull is wearing glasses now and he pecs away at a gigantic computer with a wireless printer)
BMX: I’m sorry Steven Seagull.  It’s just that I…Oh forget it.
Steven Seagull: What BMX?  Tell me because it isn’t healthy to bottle up your feelings.
BMX: I just think this thing is so weird!  I am a rapper artist.  What in the heck am I doing mixed up in espionage?
Steven Seagull: That is a legitimate concern BMX.  It would be like if I found myself in a situation where I had to be a rapper artist in order to preserve my well-being.
BMX: Look out!
(A goon with information throws a soccer ball at Steven Seagull’s head, but it misses since Steven Seagull ducks really fast.  Then BMX catches the soccer ball and throws it at the goon, knocking him out.  Steven Seagull runs up to the goon and kills him by handing him a hotdog that is really dynamite in a hotdog bun.)

Steven Seagull: We need to find clues BMX.  Because that is how we can investigate the criminal.  This whole thing can’t be about kicking, punching and grappling.  It also has to be about typing out some computer research and then printing that research on a piece of paper so we can show it to the police chief.

(Steven Seagull is wearing glasses now and he pecs away at a gigantic computer with a wireless printer)

BMX: I’m sorry Steven Seagull.  It’s just that I…Oh forget it.

Steven Seagull: What BMX?  Tell me because it isn’t healthy to bottle up your feelings.

BMX: I just think this thing is so weird!  I am a rapper artist.  What in the heck am I doing mixed up in espionage?

Steven Seagull: That is a legitimate concern BMX.  It would be like if I found myself in a situation where I had to be a rapper artist in order to preserve my well-being.

BMX: Look out!

(A goon with information throws a soccer ball at Steven Seagull’s head, but it misses since Steven Seagull ducks really fast.  Then BMX catches the soccer ball and throws it at the goon, knocking him out.  Steven Seagull runs up to the goon and kills him by handing him a hotdog that is really dynamite in a hotdog bun.)

  1. barelysarcasm reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    important scenes.
  2. jenandtonic reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    An improvement on a classic
  3. tomoatmeal posted this