With my nude, floral-painted body pressed firmly against the wall, I could only stand still and hope that it would blend seamlessly with the floral wallpaper, hiding me completely.
“She can’t divorce me if she can’t see me,” I thought.
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foxtrot-uniform-charlie-kilo reblogged this from creeperstatus and added:
So true. So true. I should get a tattoo that blends with Robert Pattinson’s wallpaper so I can murder him in his sleep...
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DON’T GET AN ERECTION BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE WEIRD AND SHE MIGHT NOTICE THE BUMP IN THE WALL (THE PENIS SHAPED BUMP).
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tomoatmeal, you are comedy.
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