If they are smart, the new Indianapolis Jones DVD disc will begin with a retired Indianapolis Jones working at a Starbucks. It will be sad because all these idiots keep bugging him like “can you add whip?” and “Hey! You forgot the whip!” Jones adds the whip cream, but he does so with trembling hands and you can tell that he would really like to whip the shit out of these people with an actual whip like he did in the old days. Then this helicopter lands and this old military guy emerges and he’s like, “We need you to unretire because we have a map with treasure.” Indianapolis Jones starts to leave and his manager is like, “Hey buddy! You can’t leave! Your shift isn’t over and these people are waiting for their whip cream drinks.” Indianapolis Jones is like, “I’ll give you some whip.” Then he grabs a bullwhip and whips the shit out of everyone in the Starbucks restaurant. He even does this thing where he whips the phone and we cut to a guy in another place dropping his cell phone and then gently touching his tongue to discover that it’s bleeding (from getting whipped through the phone!)
