Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

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When people ask me what my plans are for Thanksgiving, I like to describe the dinner in detail.  I move closer and closer, cornering the person as I talk seemingly forever about the cranberry sauce, the turkey, stuffing, everything.  And I do it with an enthusiasm that suggests that I might actually think I am the only person on earth to celebrate like this.
Or I just tell them the truth: That I’ll probably drive over to the mall and eat a steak sandwich.
“But the mall is closed on Thanksgiving!”
“The parking lot isn’t.”

When people ask me what my plans are for Thanksgiving, I like to describe the dinner in detail.  I move closer and closer, cornering the person as I talk seemingly forever about the cranberry sauce, the turkey, stuffing, everything.  And I do it with an enthusiasm that suggests that I might actually think I am the only person on earth to celebrate like this.

Or I just tell them the truth: That I’ll probably drive over to the mall and eat a steak sandwich.

“But the mall is closed on Thanksgiving!”

“The parking lot isn’t.”

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    thanksgiving is so my least favorite holiday.
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