I just got the high speed internet cable cord! Oh no! It looks like your boring old substitute teacher is officially out of the Stone Age. What’s that? Based on the amount of times I’ve been arrested for emailing pictures of my genitals to complete strangers, you’re shocked that I didn’t already have it? Oh. I didn’t know you guys had heard about…wait, what? Having extra time is probably a bad thing for someone like me since I’ll probably just use it to figure out new and inventive ways to speed up my emotional decay? Well, I hadn’t thought of it that way. You in the back row, yes? Honestly, if I didn’t have this job it would be fun to see how long it takes for me to completely forget how to interact with people? For your information, some people enjoy my company. In fact, that homeless guy outside loves hearing about my ex-wife and how insane she is. Really? He shot himself? Hmm, that’s odd. Well I guess we should get started with the lesson.
