Tom Oatmeal

Jane had said that “we” were pregnant, but in the dim light of my bathroom, I watched carefully as yet another test came up negative. Seven total. Was I mistaken? Considering I hadn’t even heard of that word,”pregnant,” until Jane had mentioned it, perhaps I was equally baffled about what a pregnancy test even was. I doubted it, but just to be safe, I decided to go ahead and urinate on everything I had purchased from the drugstore.