Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

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As the party dwindled down, I continued to lie motionless on the floor, pretending to be asleep.  When my name came up among the remaining guests, I knew it was the moment of truth.  Even though I technically hadn’t been invited to the party and didn’t know anyone there, I hoped that the consensus would be that despite the shroud of mystery surrounding me, I had turned out to be quite the charming gentleman.
“Did you see how much garbage he ate out of the trashcan?” asked one woman.  “It didn’t even look like he was hungry.  Just really mad at something.”
“I’m getting better,” I thought.

As the party dwindled down, I continued to lie motionless on the floor, pretending to be asleep. When my name came up among the remaining guests, I knew it was the moment of truth. Even though I technically hadn’t been invited to the party and didn’t know anyone there, I hoped that the consensus would be that despite the shroud of mystery surrounding me, I had turned out to be quite the charming gentleman.

“Did you see how much garbage he ate out of the trashcan?” asked one woman. “It didn’t even look like he was hungry. Just really mad at something.”

“I’m getting better,” I thought.

  1. dysdaimon reblogged this from tomoatmeal
  2. joestarr reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    solace in a King
  3. staycalmjeeves reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    oatmeal headed Tom cartoon in these situations...it just brings with it so
  4. awkwardlysocial reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    wasn’t already in love, I’d...stalking tomoatmeal.
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