lukepygman asked:
My sister is selling candy-bars to raise money for her softball team. Do you have any advice for her on how to be a good salesperson?
It’s good to keep the bars cool so they don’t melt, but I think the best thing to do is to just eat the bars yourself and then sit in a treehouse and try not to panic once you realize that you have no legal way of paying back the money you’ve consumed in candy bars.
Keep cool. Get to a computer, Google “flesh wounds” and educate yourself on the amount of self inflicted cuts you can endure in your effort to convince the fundraising team that the son of bitch who stole your candy bars is very real and every bit the bloodthirsty sadist you’ve made him out to be.
Another good thing for a salesperson is eye contact.
