Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

38 notes

“Here.  Try these brownies Linda,” I said.  “They’re better than sex.”
Linda took one off of the tray and bit into it. After just a couple of chews, she spit it out into the napkin.
“What the fuck was that?” she asked.
“I put mud in there from outside to look like brownies,” I said.  “Isn’t that funny?”
Linda continued spitting the brownie out in disgust and rushed away - probably to get some water.
Later, as I had miserable sex with this old pile of phonebooks I kept in my office, I realized that I actually felt pretty good that I had been so honest with Linda about how good the brownies were.

“Here. Try these brownies Linda,” I said. “They’re better than sex.”

Linda took one off of the tray and bit into it. After just a couple of chews, she spit it out into the napkin.

“What the fuck was that?” she asked.

“I put mud in there from outside to look like brownies,” I said. “Isn’t that funny?”

Linda continued spitting the brownie out in disgust and rushed away - probably to get some water.

Later, as I had miserable sex with this old pile of phonebooks I kept in my office, I realized that I actually felt pretty good that I had been so honest with Linda about how good the brownies were.

  1. firstsight reblogged this from tomoatmeal
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  3. baravettski reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    Accounting. She’s...mild mannered one...Christmas party.
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