The elevator went, “DING!” and I tossed the bite-sized candy bar in my mouth. But when the doors opened, I could see that there was woman already on the elevator.
“Oh no,” I thought.
I went ahead and boarded the elevator. I waited for the doors to close and then I did a couple of test chews.
“Oh no,” I thought again. “The test chews are crunching too loud!” I stopped chewing and just held the candy in my mouth. But then I began to panic, prompting a heated exchange of thoughts.
“She knows that you have candy in your mouth, you idiot!”
“Shut up! I know!”
“You can’t stop chewing because she knows you already tried chewing! Just finish chewing it! Who cares if it’s loud!? You don’t have to be friends with everyone!”
“But it’s too loud!”
I decided to try and do a fake swallow, hoping that she would see it out of the corner of her eye. Like, “Hey, look at me! All done with the candy! Yum Yum!”
I tried a couple of versions, but each came across as weak and, ultimately, fake.
“I hate her,” I thought. “I hate her for ruining my candy break.”
The doors opened and I let her exit first so that I could go the opposite direction and chew the candy bite in a safe, isolated spot.
I thought about that crazy woman again. What is it with some people?
THE END
