GOM TOTEMEAL’S BASEBALL REPORT
Well it’s the day of the big match. The fans are putting their tickets into their pockets and then I guess the stadium people are probably getting ready to let people park their cars. Whatever. It’s not my job to describe the standards of sporting events preparation. What I do know is that the teams want to win this one. A magician once told me that if I contacted him after hours, he would indeed explain how a man can throw out the first pitch at a game, get shot and killed by a high-powered rifle, and then pull off the catcher’s mask to reveal: HE IS THE CATCHER!
He said, “The key to it would be getting the corpse of the stunt double off the baseball diamond before the cheers subside and the good folks have a chance to think about the price of the trick they just witnessed.”
“Well tell me then,” I said.
“I can’t.”
“Oh, is this the code of the magician thing?” I asked. “Well what if maybe this one sort of fell off the truck?”
“Nope.”
“But you would have told me where the trick was going to fall off,” I said. “And I could be waiting with a metaphorical tarp to throw over it and whisk it away, quickly out of sight.”
After that is when he agreed to let me call him after hours for an explanation of the trick. I forgot to call him, but that can happen. I bought a tarp though. Waterproof.
