Gom’s Baseball Report
I hope that the Cardinals win tonight’s match. You can bet that both teams want to win, which makes the whole program exciting. There is no time limit in baseball. It’s not like hockey, where you turn over a gigantic hourglass and play until the sand leaks through or the hourglass breaks from getting hit with shoes. I’ve been to games before and I’ve met Fredbird. I’ve dreamed about being a player myself and then later, I dreamed about a machine that shrinks you down to the size of a GI Joe. You could sneak into the pitcher’s glove and hug the baseball. Then, when the enemy player hits it really deep, you’re blowing hard against the ball to make it fall short. And it does. And they discover you and tell you that you’re a hero. They have a parade and you drive your tiny car along and local people are like, “There’s that little doll-guy. Let’s feed him some macadamia nuts!”
*Gom Totemeal is a local sports reporter and he writes for so many publications that to list them here would be a waste of everyone’s time.
