Tom Oatmeal

A Blog About Intercourse from a guy who doesn't get nervous about intercourse like his friend Ricky does.

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“It seems that someone tried to replace his blood with peanut oil to see if it would work the same,” said the detective.  “The poor guy never had a chance.”
George Washington Carver shifted nervously, avoiding eye contact with the detective.
“You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”
“Me?  Nope.  No way,” said George.  “But I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”
After the detective left, George quickly threw a suitcase together and hopped into his car, which was a gigantic peanut with wheels.  Also, the top had been removed so it looked like a convertible.  Oh, and the outside of the car was really salty so a bunch of stray cats were licking it before he got into it.

“It seems that someone tried to replace his blood with peanut oil to see if it would work the same,” said the detective.  “The poor guy never had a chance.”

George Washington Carver shifted nervously, avoiding eye contact with the detective.

“You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?”

“Me?  Nope.  No way,” said George.  “But I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

After the detective left, George quickly threw a suitcase together and hopped into his car, which was a gigantic peanut with wheels.  Also, the top had been removed so it looked like a convertible.  Oh, and the outside of the car was really salty so a bunch of stray cats were licking it before he got into it.

  1. applehands reblogged this from tomoatmeal
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  3. emilyinternet reblogged this from tomoatmeal and added:
    … a gigantic peanut with wheels.
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