My instructions were to meet the contact in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. There, we would make the exchange. I guess I was late because when I got there, I could see my contact milling about, disguised as an old woman. I had been in the spy business long enough to know that such an extreme measure was overkill, so I decided I’d have a little fun with it.
“Oh my god! You’ve aged terribly!” I said with despair, running my fingers along the deep wrinkles of the old woman’s face.
I took a step back. “Well, it looks like you still have that gigantic, dumpy ass we used to tease you about! My god, it’s gotten larger!” I teased, poking her playfully in the belly.
“Not a bad disguise overall,” I said. “But the tits are a little overboard. I mean Christ, I know they’re supposed to drop with age, but those are practically touching the ground! You could mop the floor with…”
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and there was my contact. No disguise.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” said the voice. “Here’s the envelope.”
As a wandered out of the aisle, I wondered, “Had I offended that poor woman?”
It was hard to tell, but then again, uncertainty was common in the game of espionage.
