July 2009
17 posts
June 2009
48 posts
“Credit Card! Oh wait. Sorry.”
– Jesus, as he swiped the edge of his outstreched hand along the ass crack of a street vendor who he thought was his friend Dave, but wasn’t.
“gjkagfbalr;bg;kljvr”
– af;lkna a;oif;alksde (via ericisanidiot)
I dropped Geology... I've decided I don't hate...
Grrr! Grrr! I’m a gigantic rock that wants to be studied! I’m angry with you! Grrr!
(via oneclover)
In less than a week
henryeatspeople:
I’ve been to three different graduation parties surrounded by young men, drank on a mutha fuckin’ boat! (as did Grrr), was in the middle of a lightning storm to beat all lightning storms, was in a lodge in the middle of nowhere, shot skeet off the back porch, held an elephant’s tail in my hand, humped an elk’s leg (didn’t remember that one), humped a bear (totally remembered that...
“That’s fine.”
– Henry Ford, 1922 - prompting a waiter to cease sprinkling parmesan cheese on his pasta.
“If I held grudges, how would I be able to hold this oar that I am paddling the...”
– A joke told by the Indian sidekick of Christopher Columbus, where he implies that the act of holding a grudge requires hands.
Reblog with the biggest flaw in your personality.
robynbartlett:
meetunknown:
scatteredwords:
marschaz:
maddyson:
caitlynohh:
saraheure:
I run away from everything, even the most trivial of issues.
I’m too lazy too fix the things I don’t like about myself and i have no confidence in my knowledge
I’m obnoxious and don’t know when to stop talking.
I’m constantly pushing for everyone’s approval.
I’m too afraid to ever do...
I'm not really a boy. I'm a starfish disguised as...
(Lifts the wig off) Oh you’re right! You really ARE a Starfish. Sorry for scolding you for not responding to my request for directions off of this beach Mr. Starfish!
(via havent-got-a-prayer)
“Oh wait - sorry to cut you off. I just remembered. You DID already tell us the...”
– From my new book of quotes, “Get Me the Fuck Out of Here”
