January 2009
27 posts
My Robot Movie
The name of my project is “RoboBrother.” It is about this spaceship that while flying through the air at speeds up to 65-70 miles per hour, crashes into a tree. A family hears the commotion and goes outside to find that a robot was flying it and he’s passed out from the crash. The family rescues the robot and decide to keep him as their new son as opposed to the 3 year-old Asian kid...
Analyze This - Part III
I’m sure we’ve all seen the movie, “Analyze This” and probably even “Analyze That” Well guess what? I just finished writing the third installment to this hilarious series! The title is, “If You’re Not Doing Anything Constructive, Go Analyze Some Of That Shit In My Garage” This film is hilarious because there will be all of these scenes where...
Oprah Is Dead! →
From Team Tiger Awesome…
WatchHi there. Here is episode 2 of our reality show. If you have any questions I’ll be outside waiting by the mailbox for some things I ordered.
Stand and Deliver 2: Stand Taller and Deliver...
Here’s a sample:
There is this scene where the teacher is trying to convince a classroom full of pimps to learn math. One student says, “Learning is stupid,” and he throws a paper ball at the teacher, which draws blood from his neck. Another student says, “Math this,” as he uses one hand to motion towards his genitals. With his other hand, he throws a paper ball...
An Excerpt from my Detective Novel (Chapter 37 to...
When the old woman said something to me about her son dying of a broken heart, I felt it my duty as a detective to set the record straight.
“Actually, he died from getting his head smashed in with a hammer,” I said.
Between sobs, she told me that she knew that, but was only trying to say that it was her son’s emotional problems that lead him to join a gang in the first place. I think that is...
Craigslist Missed Connection: We Almost Died...
I met you at my friend Eric’s bonfire party. You were a friend of one his coworkers I believe and we really hit it off. Anyways, we were making out when that guy showed up with a machete and started trying to murder us. I sort of pushed you in between us and then begged the guy to kill you and not me. I’m really, REALLY sorry about that. I’m also sorry for telling him that you...
An Excerpt from Chapter 4 of "The Functional...
“Jeremy hadn’t been snooping. He was just looking for a stapler to borrow from Ron’s cubicle when he noticed the email pop up on his coworker’s computer monitor. At lunch, Jeremy confronted him about the message, but Ron tried his best to downplay it. “You can’t be serious,” said Ron. “I get those emails all the time. Hell, everyone does. I...
Attention Networks: Here's a Gameshow (Thank me...
The name of the game is “Laundry Time!” and it’s going to be bigger than even that one gameshow with the bald guy and the suitcases. The game is pretty simple really: You have 3 contestants in a laundromat. There are 3 machines of laundry that will be spinning. 2 of the machines have clean clothes and the remaining machine contains dirty clothes. Each contestant picks a machine....
proposition
thepennylane:
i don’t know if i’m just on an erotic photography kick but these are beautiful.
just a couple of images from an amazing blog. thank you Angerotica. i don’t know you, but you’re phenomenal.
last semester i wanted to do my photo essay of before/during/after sex. of course, it wouldn’t be quite as plain as the words make it sound. i’m frustrated with having specific ideas (being so...
From "Dynamite Dinosaurs" (Look for it Soon!)
Chapter 11: The Discovery Paul and Ricky continued to trudge through the jungles of the mysterious island in hopes of finding the remnants of their fallen airplane. As they approached a small creek, both men heard a loud roar coming from behind them. They turned around and what they saw made them dump out a little in their pants. “Yo, it’s a fucking dinosaur!” Ricky shouted. As...
My New Favorite Restaurant - Reviewed!
The restaurant itself bears no formal numeric address. It sits snugly against the back wall of a weathered brick building leased to a tattoo parlor. I was fortunate to stumble upon it quite by accident, but for those of you who don’t have time for a scavenger hunt, your best bet is to jot down directions to the tattoo parlor and take advantage of the street parking out front. Upon arrival,...
Excerpt From my Psychological Thriller
In this gem of a novel, my debut character is a homicide detective named Ed who, in addition to the depressing nature of his job, suffers from Paralipophobia, which is the fear of duty and responsibilities. Here is a sample from Chapter 11: “Walking into the room, Ed suddenly realized why the other detectives had found excuses to stay outside of the warehouse. Pinned against the wall were...
Excerpt from my New Novel, "High Seas Adventure!"
“The desert island was freezing now and Captain Robert was realizing just how foolish a decision it had been to use the last of the matches to light the crate of fireworks the crew had salvaged from the wreck. It seemed an odd choice for a morale booster when you stopped to consider that it had been lighting crates of fireworks that had led to the ship’s sinking in the first place. ...
Children's Movie (Please Invest in This!)
Hi there! I manage a bottling company downtown and recently had an idea for this really awesome movie based loosely on my experiences there. The factory is a pretty interesting place and sometimes we even host field trips for local elementary schools. I do this thing where I put on this bear outfit and tell kids about the process of bottling soft drinks.
Anyways, the movie is about these kids...
Let's Go On A Date!
If you’re an attractive woman who is sick and tired of bad dates, then I’m sorry to hear that. Anyway, I think we should go on a date because I’m a really great guy. I know that’s hard to tell from reading a personal ad so I thought maybe I’d walk you through what an evening with me entails. Just to warn you though, it’s pretty steamy! First off, some...
Watchchriscantwell:
The second episode of Marriage.
XtraNormal adds in camera moves unnecessarily. They need to fix a lot with this site.
I’ve watched this thing like 15 times already. Amazing!
i really needed more stuff to do, so i started a... →
(via molls)
5 Ways to be Romantic (I just know okay?)
1. Know about Wine
If you plan on being romantic, then you better start drinking up on the wine. Wine is seriously like the most romantic thing in the world! That’s why wine is the blood of Jesus. Imagine how romantic he was! Having wine-blood made Jesus so romantic that he wasn’t even created by traditional intercourse. One day he was just decided to show up. I’ll bet that...