November 2008
3 posts
Last Minute Costume Idea
If everyone in the office keeps bugging you about not wearing a costume, just pull your pants down. It’s a Hallo-Wiener! (While you’re sitting inside of a locked conference room as HR gathers information about the incident, try to make a list of reasons why you’re so angry all the time. You might be surprised!)
October 2008
9 posts
Preguntas Answered (You're Welcome)
This strange bomb went off earlier when I was watching Montel Williams and it looks like my streets are now filled with bloodthirsty zombies. Should I set out to try and find a colony of survivors?
To be honest, I wouldn’t waste your time. Zombies are pretty relentless and it’s only a matter of time before they ravage the entire globe. I’d use the remaining time you have left as a human to do...
My Dog is an Idiot!
His name is Eric and I think he might be an idiot. The other day, a man came to our house and asked Eric for my social security number and he was like, it’s 512-88-7128. Can you believe how stupid he is!? Now some stranger has my personal info! The next time Eric is taking a shower, I’m going to flush the toilet so the water gets really hot and he has to momentarily stand away from the...
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Free Knock-Knock Joke! (All Yours, I've Got...
So this guy got up one morning and thought, “I’m going to be an obnoxious A-hole today.” He went door to door banging on peoples’ doors and saying that his name was “banana.” He kept saying it over and over and then finally when the people were like, “Man I don’t have time for this shit,” the guy was like “actually my name is orange you...
Agent Needed for New Bill Pullman Movie
Hola Senoritas! Ha! Just kidding. Anyways, let’s talk business. I’m so good at coming up with great movie ideas, I sometimes feel like maybe when I was being created, God got distracted and forgot to turn off the hose pumping “amazing” into me.
Anyways, I’ve written this awesome movie about a horse that can play baseball. This team is really down on their luck and...