February 2012
3 posts
The NFL's First Satanist Quarterback →
I wrote an article for my friend, Justin Halpern’s new humor website. Check it out here. You don’t have to, but man oh man, I sure would be grateful. Come on, please?
Justin is hilarious and can be followed at @justin_halpern.
January 2012
15 posts
Anonymous asked: pic of urself?
Anonymous asked: Tom, what do you look for in a girlfriend?
designerrants asked: How did you celebrate New Years Eve?
December 2011
9 posts
An Excerpt from my Novel About Scientists
“In the days following the mad scientist’s capture, his lair was seized by government officials and some of his lesser-known manufactured ailments were made public. Among the more horrifying was a pill that makes a subject’s hair grown inward, forcing doctors to make an emergency surgery where the scalp is removed, flipped inside out like a beanie and then placed back on the...
My Feature Script Made the 2011 Black List →
mundy:
chriscantwell:
Number 16: THE KNOLL.
This is fucking incredible
Congratulations, guys! If you’re shooting the project and need someone to play a corpse, I’m still available.
whipples asked: Has anyone ever carved you into a pumpkin?
beigelagibon asked: Tom, we haven't heard about your dog for some time now (Rick I think his name was). How is he doing? is he likely to be given any gifts this Christmas? or is he too ugly to be given any attention?
Anonymous asked: Tom, you were away for quite a while. What were you up to?
November 2011
4 posts
Anonymous asked: How was your Thanksgiving, Tom?
Watchcracked:
Sometimes The Best Team For The Job Is The Worst Idea Ever
Good thing they’re being shot into space, because we hope they never come back.
(From our great best friends at Team Tiger Awesome)
Also, check out TTA’s, Nick Mundy on “Pretend Time” on Wed. Nov. 16th. Congratulations, Mundy!
October 2011
15 posts
you guys →
My classmate, Charles, and I were picked to be conflict mediators in elementary school. We watched a video about two teenagers who were up in arms about the status of a borrowed Walkman. After that, we played the telephone game to hammer home the lessons about rumors and then we ate Snickers bars.
A few weeks later, a huge fight broke out in the hallway between two girls. They were punching...
jamescoates asked: thanks for following me Tom, Hopefully one day our paths will cross in a Starbucks somewhere with me ordering a skinny decaf and you wielding a gun
September 2011
13 posts
2 tags
